Keith Witt (Part 2) – Relationship’s Farther Reaches: Exploring the Potentials of Loving, Learning, and Growing Together

By Heidi Mitchell | February 13, 2025
Keith Witt Integral Psychologist Relationship intelligence

Integral psychologist Keith Witt can’t get enough of the magic and beauty that happens in relationships as people begin to develop what he calls “a post-issue consciousness.” He explains that when our executive self, our wise self or witness, kicks in and forges a caring connection with the places where we hold our hurt and our traumas, then integration and healing start to happen, eventually with almost no conscious energy expenditure. “My job is to help people develop the witness,” Keith says, so they can observe their defensive or destructive states and reach for compassionate understanding, for themselves, for their partner, and for others.

Keith tells us the three foundations of the modern marriage are friendship, a love affair, and an ability to resolve issues that come up, and says the shift to a post-issue relationship happens when all three facets become intentional. “Post-issue couples don’t let things get in the way of their love,” he says. Throughout the conversation, Keith shares a goldmine of therapeutic wisdom on the subject of relationships, including the client/therapist relationship, and in true Integral fashion, he includes perspectives from all sorts of interesting angles, such as our evolutionary development, neural development, and moral and spiritual development. This discussion is warm, friendly, cheerful, lively, and chock full of useful information and insights. Keith’s excitement about the evolutionary directionality of human relationships is contagious and inspiring. Recorded August 16, 2024.

“We have a responsibility to be our best self, our wise self, all the time… this is a good place to grow towards as an individual—and a necessary way to grow as a psychotherapist.”

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Topics & Time Stamps – Part 2

  • Having an agreed-on, go-to technique for when problems arise (01:27)
  • The defensive state wants to attack or flee, and the stories you tell yourself to justify attacking or fleeing (03:18)
  • Distinguishing between constructive guidance and destructive shadow (04:32)
  • Flexibility in couples therapy: going on instinct (07:52)
  • Discourse and dialectic is a 21st century metapsychology (10:19)
  • The developmental process of becoming more sensitive to when you’re “off” and also to when your relationship is “off” (12:36)
  • A flourishing relationship is a liberation (15:05)
  • Being a transpersonal therapist means you don’t take things personally (16:47)
  • Therapist/client relationship is a major determinant of outcome (18:56)
  • Growing toward being our best self all of the time is a good directionality (21:46) 
  • The importance of telling the truth skillfully and compassionate understanding (23:29)
  • The 6 foundational moral states we are born with get corrupted by defensive states (26:39)
  • Radical acceptance: there is nothing I cannot share with my partner (29:44)
  • Is forceful intervention ever necessary? Recovery from addiction comes before working on a relationship (32:52)
  • Post-issue moments are our human birthright (42:31) 
  • Looking for deeper truths about the human experience in conversations like this is enacting a 21st century metapsychology (43:04)  

Resources & References – Part 2

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Keith Witt Integral psychologist Relationship intelligence

Dr. Keith Witt is a Licensed Psychologist, teacher, and author who has lived and worked in Santa Barbara since 1973. He has conducted over 75,000 therapy sessions and published ten books, including Loving Completely, Shadow Light, and Integral Mindfulness. His books Waking Up and Sessions were two of the first books on Integrally informed psychotherapy. In presentations and classes around the U.S. and internationally, Keith has explored love, therapy, interpersonal relationships, and development from multiple perspectives, weaving neuroscience, Integral theory, wisdom traditions, and numerous forms of psychotherapy into a coherent cosmology of love and healing.

Podcast produced by Vanessa Santos and Show Notes by Heidi Mitchell

Besides his passion for getting the invaluable conversations on the Deep Transformation Podcast out to the world, co-host John Dupuy is also dedicated to encouraging the use of brainwave entrainment technology for its transformative effects. John has been working personally and professionally with brainwave entrainment technology since 2004, and in 2010, he co-founded iAwake Technologies to help create high quality soundtracks using this technology, which supports the healing of emotional/shadow issues, deepens meditation, mental focus, creativity, and flow states, and enhances a daily integral transformative practice.

To experience the effects for yourself, you can download a free sample of the Stealing Flow Warm-up track here, for a 25-minute, full-spectrum, whole-brain workout. We hope you enjoy it!

Posted in Developmental Psychology, Healing Trauma, Human Evolution, Integral Theory, Psychotherapy, Spiritual Development and tagged , , ,